The Ups and Downs of Breastfeeding for Jessica and her Son

Breastfeeding did not come easy to me and my son.  In fact, I hated it for about 6 weeks. HATED IT! My son was born with a tongue tie and a lip tie so he was only able to latch onto one side but unable to latch properly which caused me severe pain.  After about two days of trying to nurse over and over and over my nipples were sore, cracked, bleeding, and blistered and I finally gave in to a nipple shield. It was useful and I’m thankful for it because it saved our breastfeeding relationship.

My son was born weighing 8 pounds 6 ounces and left the hospital weighing 7 pounds 14 ounces. At his newborn appointment he weighed 8 pounds 3 ounces so I assumed we were on the right track! The pediatrician asked us to come back in a week to make sure he has reached and surpassed his birth weight. We went back in a week and my son lost another ounce. So the pediatrician had me nurse him and then weighed him again and his second weight was 8 pounds 5 ounces. So he was drinking about 3 ounces each feeding! However, he was not gaining any weight so we went back again in another week and he was only 8 pounds 3 ounces again. I was sitting in the room waiting for his doctor to come in thinking “I just know she is going to tell me to stop breastfeeding.” So while I was waiting I was thinking about how I was going to put up a fight and defend my decision to keep breastfeeding. 

It was a moment of huge relief when she told me I could and should continue to nurse but that I should supplement with pumped breastmilk or formula. She started his physical exam and noticed all the symptoms of reflux and put him on medicine for it and told me to come back and see her in another week to check on his weight. I remember just sitting in the car sobbing thinking “My baby is starving and it is all my fault!” I held my tiny son and cried and apologized for not being good enough. I felt like it was my fault that he wasn’t thriving and that if I had just done things differently he would be gaining weight like he was supposed to. We went home and snuggled and nursed and cried some more. 

I started him on his reflux medicine and started to supplement a couple of feedings each day to make sure he was satisfied and he was a much happier baby. We supplemented for a few days and two of my sisters who were nursing their babies too offered me the most amazing gift ever; their pumped breastmilk to help feed my son.  After supplementing for a couple of days my stubborn side came out and I just said “I do not want to do this anymore. I am going to nurse my baby and that is that.” I put the can of formula away and my son and I cuddled up, napped and he nursed as he pleased. Eventually he was getting what he needed from me and me only.  That was the greatest feeling in the world. We went back to the pediatrician for his one month appointment and he finally reached his birth weight! He was 8 pounds 7 ounces. He was still a small baby but he was finally gaining weight and it made me the happiest mom in the world. 

Now he is four months old and still a very slim and slender baby but he is healthy and growing at his own pace. We have been free of the nipple shield for a few months now and even through all the frustrations of wanting to give up on breastfeeding multiple times I could not be happier that I stuck with it. I am not ashamed to say that my son has tasted formula and tasted milk from other moms. Breastfeeding is not an easy thing. It doesn’t come naturally to everyone. It is hard and frustrating at points and it can make you want to rip your hair out. I fell to my knees to many times sobbing because I thought I wasn’t good enough for my son. But I am good enough. I am the perfect mother for my son. 

There are times when I wish we had an easier to start to out breastfeeding journey but because of the struggles I have learned to cherish the moments we get to spend nursing. There are still days when I am exhausted and tired and think “it would be so much easier to give him a bottle.”  I enjoy our snuggle time a little bit too much though to not to nurse him.

Warmth, Food and Security – Kelly’s Breastfeeding Journey

I always knew I wanted to breastfeed and was also very confident I would. I never thought of it as an option; it was just something I was going to do. I remember registering at a store for our first daughter, and my mother told me I should put formula on my registry just in case. I felt offended that she wasn't as confident in breastfeeding as I was. I also knew that it wasn't recommended to have back-up formula. In those early, sleepless days, you are still trying to learn your baby, and it could be tempting to give in and supplement, which, when done too early, can harm your milk supply.

Growing up, I was never really exposed to breastfeeding, but I do remember nursing my dolls sometimes. I had one friend who breastfed in my early twenties, and I was obsessed with how beautiful it was. I was so proud of my friend! While I was pregnant, all our family knew I planned to breastfeed but didn't have much input. I had a smooth pregnancy and delivery in a hospital with our first daughter. I began nursing her right away, and she did great! I remember getting conflicting advice from the all nurses and lactation consultant. I was a little confused but determined, and I trusted my instincts. When she cried, my instincts told me to check her diaper and nurse her. Anytime she cried, she nursed, and it fixed everything. We perfected our latch within a few days. Nipple cream saved my life. Use it after every feeding! 

It didn't take too long for nursing to feel as natural to me as eating with a spoon. I thought of my breast as an eating utensil that just happened to be attached to my body.
None of our family was very familiar with breastfeeding. I remember getting told to hurry up or stop for a minute because someone was here to meet the baby. I was pretty angry and didn't feel much support. I remember trying to nurse before we left the house or before getting in the car to drive. I wanted to make sure she was full and content before going anywhere. I was nervous to nurse in public, especially without a cover or someone to stick up for me if someone had something negative to say.

My daughter was around three months old when I was introduced to a moms’ group on Facebook. The group had many breastfeeding advocates all supporting each other on their breastfeeding journey. It really is a journey with highs, lows, unexpected surprises, and great rewards. Through this group, I gained knowledge and support. I learned about growth spurts, legal rights to nurse in public, and many more breastfeeding-related issues. I even began nursing in public. For me, it's not really about my legal right to nurse in public but more about my child's right to eat when she is hungry. This group helped me to meet some of my lifelong soul sisters. I pray that all women can find this type of strong support system with like-minded mothers.

My breastfeeding journey was going great until we got pregnant again. My daughter was only nine months old. I had to start supplementing with my pumped stash and raw goats milk as my supply slowed down. When I was around twenty weeks pregnant, I pretty much had no milk. For about four weeks, my daughter didn't nurse much. Then, at twenty-four weeks, my colostrum came in, and she went back to nursing like a newborn. I can't remember exactly when it started, but I had a pretty rough time with nursing aversion. When she nursed, it felt so irritating - like my body was telling me it didn't want her to nurse. We made it through the hard times, though.

Then our second daughter was born. We had a water birth at home this time. I was in labor and had to nurse my first daughter to sleep for a nap. As soon as she fell asleep, my water broke. We think her nursing had something to do with it. About an hour later, our second daughter entered the world. She has nursed great from the start. Then four days in our new baby was crying and wouldn't stop. It was gas. My midwife recommended I cut dairy from my diet right away. She cried every night for a couple hours for a few more days. It took time for the dairy to get out of my system but after that we had zero colic as long as I didn't eat dairy.   I had no idea my diet could cause things like reflux, eczema or gas. Some baby’s tummies just can't handle it. 

The first six weeks was a rough adjustment period. We all had to learn our new roles and settle into our new life. Tandem nursing was a challenge at first. I had a hard time getting comfortable nursing them both at the same time. My oldest wanted to nurse every time the baby did, and there were some tears, but we did our best to distract her with something else.

I have been very blessed with a great milk supply. I donate almost everything I pump to my sweet milk son. He was adopted by a very loving couple. This sweet boy has been through some rough challenges, and the benefits of breastmilk are giving him an even better quality of life. Providing milk to three tiny humans all at the same time is challenging but incredibly rewarding. I have recently had the greatest opportunity to wet nurse for a friend in need. I always wondered what it would be like to nurse a baby that wasn't my own. I was excited to see if it would be different somehow. At first the baby knew something was different. She mouthed my nipple like she could taste and feel the difference. Then she latched on and nursed like normal.

I'm now four months into tandem nursing and still have some nursing aversion with our oldest. I just push through it, but sometimes I have to cut her feeding short. My youngest is still exclusively breastfed and growing every day. I have come so far from just planning to breastfeed. I can now say I have done something I always wanted to do. I set my mind to it and consider this a great accomplishment. My original goal was to make it to six months. Then the goal became one year, and now, my goal is to let my girls self-wean when they are ready. I'm so happy to share our journey. Each mother has their own unique situation, with their own strengths and weaknesses. We have to grow and adapt to different stages and circumstances. We are all doing our best with what life gives us. I'm just so happy to be on this journey.

I love this quote, but I'm not sure of the author.
"A newborn baby has only three demands. They are warmth in the arms of its mother, food from her breasts, and security in the knowledge of her presence. Breastfeeding satisfies all three."

P.S. Get fitted for nursing bras, invest in good nursing wear, and get a good pump. Invest in your nursing journey. It's worth it when you compare the cost of formula feeding. 

Get “Plugged” in to a Support System - Casey and Kate

I had decided before I was ever married, that when the time came, and my husband and I were going to start our family that I wanted to breastfeed my children. I think it came as bit of a shock to my mom, as neither she nor my grandma breastfed their babies. It really wasn’t anything that I’d been exposed to a lot, I had only known one breastfeeding mother, who was a friend of mine, and she really opened my eyes to a whole new way of mothering. When I found out that I was expecting my daughter, I became voracious for as much information as I could get my hands on about breastfeeding - I knew that it was the best option for my baby and had lots of benefits for myself too and I settled in my heart that I was going to nurse my daughter, no matter what.

 In the months leading up to Kate’s birth, I was both excited and nervous about breastfeeding - would I be able to? What if I didn’t make enough milk? What if she wanted a bottle instead of the breast? I decided to trust my body and the way God made it - He designed my body to carry my baby, He designed my body to labor and birth my baby, He designed my body to nurture and sustain my baby once she would be born. I was able to attend a Latch-On event at the Botanical Gardens about a month before Kate was born - it was such a great experience for me! I left that event with confidence, after seeing all those mommas nurse their little ones, I knew I could do it and was even more excited to join the “sisterhood” of nursing mommies.

The time finally came for Kate to make her world debut! I had a really long labor and ended up having to birth in a hospital, instead of the birth center that we had planned on. Because I was so far long in my pregnancy, forty-two weeks and three days, and the level of amniotic fluid was decreasing, I needed to be induced to get labor to progress. It was about eight hours after induction that Kate arrived and it was love at first sight! She was given to me right away, put on my chest and within a few minutes I was asked if I wanted to try to nurse her. It was like magic! She latched on like a pro and nursed for almost ten minutes! I was in awe of her and my body, it was an incredible moment… and then we hit a wall.

A little while after my daughter was born, we tried nursing again and it didn’t go as well as before. She seemed really frustrated and I was in a lot of pain. The hospital was in-between lactation consultants at the time, so they kept sending in different nurses, each one very nice but all with very different approaches. Kate would scream and cry and they would shove her head on my breast and say, “Her latch looks perfect, the pain will go away.” I knew, from the reading and research, that it didn’t matter how a latched “looked”, it was about how it felt - and this felt awful, I was raw and bleeding before Kate was a full day old. Not being able to stand the pain of her latching or wanting to see her get so frustrated and worked up, I started to hand-express what I could and give it to her with a small spoon. The day we were discharged, we were able to go to a Latch Clinic at For Babies’ Sake and meet with Mellanie Sheppard. Within moments of assessing Kate, Mellanie pointed out that she had a very severe tongue tie and that highly suggested that we get it corrected as soon as we could. We were given so much helpful information and suggestions, and Kate nursed well for the first time, without crying, since she had been born.

 At four days old, we took Kate to a pediatric dentist, who was referred to us by Mellanie, and he agreed that Kate’s tongue tie was severe and needed to be corrected and told us that she also had a slight lip tie that should be corrected too. So we had her ties corrected and she was given to me immediately afterward so that I could nurse her and it was such a difference! She nursed wonderfully! The doctor explained that it was normal for the baby to nurse really well afterwards and then the next few days would be rough as the wounds healed and then showed my husband and I the stretches we would need to do in order to keep the ties from re-attaching. The next week was very hard, there were lots of tears from Kate and me - after a couple of weeks I scheduled a consult with another lactation consultant, Rosemarie Anthony, who was closer to where we lived, so that I could get help because I was still sore and hurting and Kate was having trouble with her sucking. I had, at this same time, gotten a plugged duct and was trying to recover as well. Rosemarie was an absolute answer to prayer! She was so helpful and full of information; she really gave me a wonderful education and explained how I could finger-feed Kate with expressed milk in order to give myself time to heal. She then worked with Kate and me and helped us figure out different positions to nurse in so that Kate could pull the milk from my clogged duct and showed me how to get better at latching Kate on my breast. It took a lot of work but around eight weeks, things started to really improve and I actually started to look forward to nursing my daughter. 

We’ve since then, dealt with over-supply issues that thankfully resolved on their own, and now have started teething - it’s certainly been a journey! Kate is six months old and growing every day, she loves to nurse and is a rock star at it! I honestly didn’t expect to love nursing my daughter as much as I do, the bond that we have is truly a God-given blessing. I remember very well, before Kate was due, a dear friend told me that breastfeeding would be one of the most natural things that I did, but that it may not be the easiest thing that I did - I am so grateful for her honesty because for me it was very true. I would say that support is key and is one of the reasons I’m still nursing my daughter, in spite of everything that we have been through. I have a wonderful husband, great family and friends, and love going to La Leche League meetings and seeing my “sisters”. I would tell any woman who is thinking of or planning to breastfeed: read as much as you can, spend time with other nursing mommies, and get plugged-in wherever you can. While everyone’s journey looks different, you ARE an overcomer who is capable of great things!

We Choose Breastmilk! - Andrea’s Journey

Definition of breastfeeding: suckling or nursing, giving a baby milk from the breast. For me, it is so much more than that. It's how I comfort my crying child when upset. It is how my kids get to sleep, how they relax. It is one way I know that they feel love. I started my breastfeeding journey for the first time over 25 months ago when my first child, my son, was born. When I was pregnant my husband casually brought up that I would breastfeed our son, as if it's the obvious thing to do. Before that I had actually never given it any thought to how I would feed my baby.

Everyone I knew used formula and I had only babysat for formula fed babies. So I set out to find information on breastfeeding because I am a person who likes facts. I immediately learned the benefits of breastfeeding. The nutritional value, the bonding, the naturalness of it and the fact it was free and helped with weight loss was a bonus! My mind was made up. That was that. I would breastfeed my children.

 I read blogs, I read books, I talked to a woman online who had experience with breastfeeding. I did everything I could to be prepared, or at least what I thought was prepared. When my son arrived I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was for us. He latched right on. We didn't experience pain, we didn't have supply issue's, we didn't have problems of any sort. I was so scared at failing but learned that if I relaxed, mine and my baby’s instincts would lead us. In the beginning I had several people make comments on how "if I just gave a bottle or cereal he'd sleep longer", or how "he must not be getting enough from me because he nurses every 30 minutes sometimes". These responses didn't feel right to me. My gut told me we we're ok since he was gaining fine, we we're both happy and I was in fact enough. He is now 25 months old and still nursing strong having never had a bottle, cow’s milk, or any other type of drink except breast milk and water. That is an accomplishment I am proud to have reached.

When he was 15 months old I learned we were expecting! I was so thrilled and excited by this news. I also was in fear my milk would dry and my son would be forcefully weaned before he was ready. Around 14 weeks my milk started to dry up. Surprisingly my son was not fazed by this and continued on to dry nurse. I had severe nursing aversion at this point. It got so bad I would cringe when he latched. I started to resent him nursing and dreaded every time he asked. It was really rough and painful for months during pregnancy. I held on for him. I knew he was attached and not ready to stop. So, through tears, through personal discomforts, anxiety, and pain I held on in attempt to do what I set out to do, which is let him self-wean. Finally some time in my third trimester my colostrum came in and the aversion and pain stopped. This was a relief for both of us.

 Fast forward to present day; my daughter is here and we are celebrating three weeks of tandem nursing. She, like my son, took right to nursing. We have been able to avoid pain and supply issues once again. For this I am thankful. Tandem nursing is a mixture of things for me. It is both wonderful and frustrating. I love that I can nurse my babies and give them what they need. I love when I see my son reach over and hold my daughter's hand. I love looking down at both their faces as they get "milk drunk". I also get overwhelmed at times. It takes a lot out of me to be nursing two babies. I constantly have one or both on me. I don't sleep much because one is always waking to night nurse. I experienced nursing aversion with my son again, especially at night. It has been a struggle these 3 weeks with aversion returning, but again, I hold on for him. So for us, our journey is long and full of ups and downs. I reached my goal with him which was full term nursing to two years old. I now leave it in his hands to wean when he is ready. As for my sweet daughter, our journey is just starting. I enjoy nursing her and I feel blessed I can provide for her. I set the same goal as I did with my son, which is to make it to one year without any supplementation and then to hopefully reach two years or let her self-wean, whichever comes first. I am happy I can do this for my kids and I am happy that I have encouraged several friends on their journey with breastfeeding. I fully support a family choosing whatever route is best for them when it comes to nourishing their children. For us, we chose breastmilk and I am so happy we did.