Breastfeeding Journal ~ Katie Part 1

My Breastfeeding Journey Part 1 – Missing out on Life!

 

Katie has three children, all of whom were/are breastfed. She has had quite a journey and wanted to share the positive with the negative to show that even in adversity, there is hope and success!  This is a three part series and one that speaks for itself about an equally difficult and very rewarding journey. Enjoy!

 

It all began on October 14^th, 2010.  At 5:17pm my son entered this world through a C-section.  I never thought twice about not breastfeeding.  Both my husband and mine’s moms had breastfed us and I knew it was the healthiest, so never once did my mind ever even think formula.  I had been a part of the WIC program through my pregnancy and the WIC counselor was so kind and really prepared me and encouraged me even before Carson was born.  The first latch was beautiful.  I had been so looking forward to this precious opportunity that it went off perfect from day one.  After two nights in the hospital, the nurse had forgotten to walk us through the knowledge of counting wet and dirty diapers to make sure he was getting enough milk from me and as first parents we had no idea.  Since I was really sore from the surgery, daddy had been in charge of all diaper duty.  Our first night home at 2AM, my little one began to cry uncontrollable.  We tried ANYTHING and EVERYTHING!  I finally called a friend, who was a WIC counselor, and she had us come to her home right away (her kids were in bed, so she couldn’t leave the house).  Her first question was how many diapers had we changed that day?  My husband and I both looked at each other, and said “None.”  She calmly but sternly had my husband get some formula and had me do skin to skin.  He came with the formula and we began to syringe feed with him at the breast and him sucking in between.  Shortly after he peed, so we knew he was okay.  I would continue this every two hours and continued to also put the pump to my breast.  Nothing but blood would come out.  I faithfully spent almost all day with baby on my chest doing skin-to-skin.  Only putting the syringe in with baby on my breast and sucking in-between to keep the sucking action going.   On a Sunday afternoon, another mom came by, had me take off my shirt and she patiently worked with me and after a good suck, he released and had milk running down his chin!!  The most beautiful sight I ever had seen!!  Without the other mother’s help and dad’s encouragement and support, I am convinced I would have not been able to nurse.  Carson also had a severe tongue tie that lead to a typical clipping and then a reconstructive surgery at six months.  I followed the typical first time mom actions of breastfeeding.  I didn’t want to go anywhere, fed in dressing rooms, left early from places to go to my car, fed in bathroom stalls while crying because it stressed me out and missed many church sermons to feed my baby in private.  After nine months of missing out on life and trying to revolve my life of sneaking out and leaving early from things, I began to supplement with formula and by eleven months I was done.  Oh and did I mention that when my LO was 7 months old that I was blessed with a new baby in utero!!! 

Breastfeeding Journal ~ Katie Part 2

My Breastfeeding Journey Part 2 – A Crushing Blow

This is the second of a three part series about Katie and her journey.

Six months after quitting nursing with my first, my second son was born, again by cesarean.  I had tried an out of hospital birth and had a transfer that ended with a birth that crushed my spirit.  I had never planned one cesarean and now I had had TWO!  We have dreamed of having a large family and giving God our fertility so this was needless to say CRUSHING!  Not only the C-section but we were told that he had a strong possibility of being Down syndrome and had heart issues so was taken straight to the NICU and placed in the “bubble.”  The first almost 48 hours I was not able to hold Candan but only able to stick my hand into the hole.  The nurses changed his diapers and he had tubes all on him.  Much prayer went on beside his NICU bed.  I would go up to my room without my child and just cry.  Every two hours I faithfully went down to the NICU sat beside him and pumped with the hospital pump.  No milk would come out.  This was another repeat.  My colostrum was not enough for them to insert through his feeding tube and since he was “such a big baby” he “needed” and ounce of formula.  BOLOGNY!  I began reaching out to Lactation Consultants that would help advocate for me to let me breastfeed and for him to get the tube out.  He was only 10lbs and my milk would be enough for him!  At around 48 hours I was able to hold him and do skin to skin every two hours.  They began to feed him a bottle of formula, against my wishes.  I was able to still put him to my breast but my milk was “not in” and it was “not enough” so therefore they kept giving the bottle.  To make a long story short, after 5 days in the NICU, Candan was released and had NOTHING WRONG!!!  THANK YOU JESUS!  No Down syndrome and no heart conditions!!!  After the NICU, we had a transition night there where we all had to stay together to make sure he was good to go home.  They had been giving him an ounce of formula at each feeding so his stomach had been used to that much.  I breastfed him and had to slowly wean him that night of the formula.  Within 48 hours, he was receiving only my milk!  At two weeks old, we had Candan’s tongue lasered and it released the pain while nursing.  I was much more comfortable nursing this go around.  I had gained a bunch of confidence and learned how to let nursing just be a part of my life.  I preferred to nurse modest, so I kept my cover around and there were times that he didn’t want the cover and so I quickly learned how to nurse modest but just being me.  I went through a bad case of thrush at about six months and I feared for not being able to continue.  After changing my diet and cutting sugar out, we were able to continue.  For Candan’s first year he only had three bottles.  I was also able to pump over two thousand ounces to donate to a mom that had adopted a baby addicted to drugs.  I knew that God had given me an oversupply and so I pumped after each and every feeding to be faithful for what was given to me.  Breast milk is such a precious gift and every baby should have the opportunity to receive.  I also believe that as moms we need to stand beside each other and help build each other up emotionally and physically.  I wanted to do my part by physically giving a mom and baby what she could not give but wanted to so badly.  There were challenges with keeping up with the oversupply.  I carried a Medela swing pump in my bag and would pump even when out and about.  Again, my husband stood beside me in choosing to do this.  Candan was and is a momma’s boy and so nursing naturally became a hobby of his.  He didn’t touch any solid foods until over ten months old and it was over a year before he was even interested in anything besides my breast milk.  When Candan was 16 months old, I received another positive pregnancy test!

Breastfeeding Journal ~ Katie Part 3

My Breastfeeding Journey Part 3 – Thoughts on Tandem Nursing

 This is the final installment of a three part series by Katie who experienced the ups and downs that sometimes present themselves when breastfeeding.

I continued breastfeeding through this pregnancy.  I had dreamed of being able to tandem nurse but would I and could I nurse THAT LONG?!  I began asking other moms questions on should I tandem nurse or began to wean him.  When I was 32 weeks pregnant I was showing signs of early labor and by 34 weeks I was placed on bed rest and was encouraged to stop nursing.  Here was my momma’s boy who nursed several times a day and I was supposed to stop cold turkey?!?  I went to a couple a times a day and faithfully just stayed in bed.  At 35 weeks it looked closer and closer to labor time and I had to make it to 37 weeks to VBA2C with a midwife out of hospital.  I made the decision to not nurse anymore and quit.  I made it to 37 weeks!  And sure enough all signs of labor let up!  Of course, right?!  So Candan asked for milk, and I gave it to him!  J  Happy day!  He still wanted me and what only I could give him!  Annalise, my third was born by cesarean too.  I could write out a whole other story about my efforts to keep trying to birth, but I have a pelvis that only 3% of women in America have and only 1% of white American women have.  It’s not impossible to give birth vaginally but the cards are definitely not in my favor.  I just held on to hope that it COULD happen.  This caesarean was better and I was able to put sweet Miss Annalise on my chest and nurse right away after birth!  To make my birth story short, my husband came down with a bad virus during labor and so within hours after delivery, the nurses asked my husband to leave until the next day at least.   On a positive note, it was just Annalise and I so I kept the sheet pulled up on both of us and lay skin to skin for her first 24 hours of life.  No one but me held her and she was at my breast about 80% of the time.  This was the image I always had imagined after having a baby!  Because I was nursing my second one (who was 25 months old at this point) my milk was already in and I was able to meet her every need.  There was nothing more fulfilling then this!  My nipples were not sensitive since I had never stopped.  I went through no soreness.  I can’t even express with words how perfect it went.  When we arrived home, I didn’t know what would happen with my 2 year old.  He nursed once and then didn’t like it!  Well, there went my dream of tandem nursing.  L  I was sad, but really okay with it.  It gave me time with just Annalise.  Six weeks later to the day, Candan crawled back into “the position” and said “I want milk.”  Really?  I reluctantly gave my breast to him and there he went!  So, after a six weeks period of time, our journey started back up!  There are times that I truly tandem nurse with one on each breast.  But mostly I will nurse Annalise and then if Candan choses (every morning and after nap at the least) he will crawl on up and nurse.  Annalise is such a sweet nurser.  I love when she grabs my breast with her little hands and then gets that precious look of fulfillment on her face.  And then there is my sweet big boy Candan, who is so thankful for the security that momma can give him.  I love how is able to ask for “milk” and then also say “thank you.” My favorite moment, is the first time, he let out a big, “ahhhh…I am done.”  Sometimes nursing two is hard.  I have to deal with jealousy issues at times.  Candan really is so big, strong-willed and determined that he throws fits when it’s not his turn.  We are both learning patience on this journey, to say the least.  I am not sure how much longer we will continue tandem nursing, or who will “quit” first.  I am just taking one day at a time.  With Annalise being my third, I nurse everywhere while doing everything.  I cover sometimes and I just nurse modestly other times.  She is now 4 months old and has never had a bottle.  I struggled with oversupply the first three months and pumped here and there to give away to other C-section moms who struggled with their supply at first (I co-lead a local cesarean support group, previously ICAN).  But with tandem nursing, I couldn’t nurse two and pump and give the attention needed to my little ones so now I do no more pumping. 

Breastfeeding Journal ~ Angela & Calleigh

A Bond of a Lifetime – Angela  & Calleigh

I have nursed all four of my girls for varying lengths of time.  The twins nursed for 4 ½ months, my third daughter for 3 ½ years and Calleigh who is two, is currently nursing.

I love the bond that nursing has given me with my girls.  I don’t think you don’t have a bond if you don’t nurse, I just think it enhances the bonding.   I am always sad when someone  who wanted to breastfeed, tells me they couldn’t for whatever reason. I am definitely a Lactivist J.  The older girls often tease Calleigh about sharing boob and she always gets so upset but it makes me happy that they know they once had that special bond.

 

All mothers bond with their babies in some way.  However, breastfeeding develops a skin-on-skin body connection experience between Mom and baby that is unique.  It is a time for both of them to just be in the moment, one on one, relaxing into the shared experience.  Breast feeding not only nourishes the baby but helps in his/her development through this very natural and fulfilling connection.  In her book, The Baby Bond: The New Science Behind What’s Really Important When Caring for Your Baby,  Dr. Linda Palmer lists the following benefits that go beyond nourishment:

Lest you think this “nursing” your baby sounds sweet but offers intangible rewards, look again at all the benefits of holding your baby and allowing her to suck at will.

• nourishment
• comfort
• easing of pain and discomfort
• protection during illness
• building of bonding and attachment with parents
• social development
• inducing sleep
• building of trust in parents
• visual development
• development of communication skills
• building brain organization toward positive stress handling throughout life
• reduced heart disease risk factors
• lowered risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome)

Breastfeeding Journal ~ Jessica

Support + Perseverance = SUCCESS!

During our session Jessica took the opportunity to “talk” with her son about the different parts of the face.  This was a sweet and precious moment that captures the very essence of the Mom and baby bonding that takes place while breastfeeding.  Many Moms sing and talk to their babies while nursing which offers teaching moments, relaxing moments and the security that builds trust in the baby/parent relationship.

Breastfeeding isn't without its challenges but for those who keep at it the end game is worth it.  Not one to give up easily, I was able to push through even when my little one didn't seem to want to latch.  Prior to the birth, I had support from a very good friend who told me to bring nipple cream to the hospital and to apply liberally.  She told me to drink water every few hours and that the breast feeding process would not be easy.  

Once my baby was born, my husband supported me in the hospital by squeezing my breast to produce the colostrum as I just did not have the right technique (luckily he did!).  And he continued to support me with expressing colostrum once I left the hospital until I produced milk. 

I thought that once I produced milk things would get easier, but breastfeeding remained a challenge for the first two weeks.  Every hour was anew and I kept at it.  At first that meant trying different feeding positions and sometimes my baby favored one breast over another.  Sometimes it meant he wouldn't latch and I had to pump and worry about nipple confusion as he was fed by bottle with my breast milk.  I have to thank my husband again for figuring out how to use the pump!  I also had the support of my Mom, mother of four who had breastfed her children encouraging me, by my side hour after hour after hour.  Finally, I had the guidance of La Leche League International.  By e-mail I would correspond with a representative almost daily for advice. 

I am forever grateful to all these women (and my actively-involved husband!) for their love, guidance and support!  Breastfeeding is beautiful and the bond I share with my baby is unparalleled.  Breast feeding is a selfless act and it allows me to take time throughout the day to just "be."  I am a working mother so I pump in the morning before I go to work, I pump twice at work and I pump at night and feed by breast at night and on the weekends exclusively.  I travel for work on occasion and have to figure out where to pump and bring my milk back with me (I've even had to pump in the family bathroom at the airport--not my favorite place!). 

I breast  feed because I want the best for my baby.  My husband is Cambodian and was in the Cambodian Genocide all four years from age four through eight.  Often, I think of the strength of his mother to see her son through such an atrocity, finally escaping to Thailand and then coming to the U.S. in her 30s not speaking the language, working and providing for her son in a new culture.  Talk about survivors!  I can appreciate my husband's mother's unrelenting determination and I too would do anything for my son.  In the beginning, that means breastfeeding him to give him the absolute best head start I can as he deserves all of that which I am capable.  The best advice?  To borrow from Nike, "Just do it!"