My
Breastfeeding Journey Part 2 – A Crushing Blow
This is the second of a three part series about Katie and
her journey.
Six months after quitting nursing with my first, my second
son was born, again by cesarean. I had
tried an out of hospital birth and had a transfer that ended with a birth that
crushed my spirit. I had never planned
one cesarean and now I had had TWO! We
have dreamed of having a large family and giving God our fertility so this was
needless to say CRUSHING! Not only the
C-section but we were told that he had a strong possibility of being Down syndrome
and had heart issues so was taken straight to the NICU and placed in the
“bubble.” The first almost 48 hours I
was not able to hold Candan but only able to stick my hand into the hole. The nurses changed his diapers and he had tubes
all on him. Much prayer went on beside
his NICU bed. I would go up to my room
without my child and just cry. Every two
hours I faithfully went down to the NICU sat beside him and pumped with the
hospital pump. No milk would come
out. This was another repeat. My colostrum was not enough for them to
insert through his feeding tube and since he was “such a big baby” he “needed”
and ounce of formula. BOLOGNY! I began reaching out to Lactation Consultants
that would help advocate for me to let me breastfeed and for him to get the
tube out. He was only 10lbs and my milk
would be enough for him! At around 48
hours I was able to hold him and do skin to skin every two hours. They began to feed him a bottle of formula,
against my wishes. I was able to still
put him to my breast but my milk was “not in” and it was “not enough” so
therefore they kept giving the bottle.
To make a long story short, after 5 days in the NICU, Candan was
released and had NOTHING WRONG!!! THANK
YOU JESUS! No Down syndrome and no heart
conditions!!! After the NICU, we had a
transition night there where we all had to stay together to make sure he was
good to go home. They had been giving
him an ounce of formula at each feeding so his stomach had been used to that
much. I breastfed him and had to slowly
wean him that night of the formula.
Within 48 hours, he was receiving only my milk! At two weeks old, we had Candan’s tongue
lasered and it released the pain while nursing.
I was much more comfortable nursing this go around. I had gained a bunch of confidence and
learned how to let nursing just be a part of my life. I preferred to nurse modest, so I kept my
cover around and there were times that he didn’t want the cover and so I
quickly learned how to nurse modest but just being me. I went through a bad case of thrush at about
six months and I feared for not being able to continue. After changing my diet and cutting sugar out,
we were able to continue. For Candan’s
first year he only had three bottles. I
was also able to pump over two thousand ounces to donate to a mom that had
adopted a baby addicted to drugs. I knew
that God had given me an oversupply and so I pumped after each and every
feeding to be faithful for what was given to me. Breast milk is such a precious gift and every
baby should have the opportunity to receive.
I also believe that as moms we need to stand beside each other and help
build each other up emotionally and physically.
I wanted to do my part by physically giving a mom and baby what she
could not give but wanted to so badly.
There were challenges with keeping up with the oversupply. I carried a Medela swing pump in my bag and
would pump even when out and about.
Again, my husband stood beside me in choosing to do this. Candan was and is a momma’s boy and so
nursing naturally became a hobby of his.
He didn’t touch any solid foods until over ten months old and it was
over a year before he was even interested in anything besides my breast
milk. When Candan was 16 months old, I
received another positive pregnancy test!
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