My breastfeeding journey
began with the birth of my son in 2009.
I had what I like to call a “standard hospital delivery” meaning I had
an epidural, Pitocin, lots of I. V. fluids
and a long labor. When my son was born I
experienced a postpartum hemorrhage which left me traumatized and
exhausted. I barely got to hold my son
before he was whisked away to the nursery.
When I finally got him back, I was swollen from all the fluids I had
received and we had trouble latching from the beginning. I remember the nurse asking if she would like
me to take him to the nursery and the words were barely out of her mouth before
I responded YES! I was so tired and an
uninterrupted stretch of sleep sounded divine.
The nurse would bring him back in when he was hungry and he nursed
heartily (and painfully). I requested to
see the lactation consultant several times and one finally stopped by the day
we were scheduled to go home. She put on
a glove, stuck her finger in his mouth and declared “Well there’s your problem,
honey! He could suck the wallpaper off
these walls!” Apparently he had a very
strong suck. She told me to keep doing
what I was doing and assured me his latch looked fine. When I inquired if it was supposed to hurt so
badly, she assured me it was.
So, off we went with our
new bundle. My husband had recently
gotten a promotion and we had to move to a new town when I was around 38 weeks
pregnant meaning my OB and all the resources I was familiar with were now an
hour and a half away. I can distinctly
remember sitting with a boppy in my lap crying, trying to steel myself for the
pain that was to come when I latched my son.
Eventually I began dreading him waking from a nap because that meant I
would have to nurse him and it just hurt so badly. I scoured the internet for information and
finally made the trek back to my OB’s office only to be told that his latch was
“perfect” and my bleeding nipples were par for the course. I felt so defeated. Finally, after about 2 weeks, I gave up on
nursing my son and decided to pump exclusively.
I did so, waking every couple hours through the night to bottle feed him
expressed milk and then sitting for another 30 minutes to pump. This went on for almost 4 months before my
milk began to dry up. Again, I visited
with my OB who prescribed a couple of different medications to try, but nothing
worked. I finally switched to formula
and that was the end of my nursing relationship with my son. I felt guilty but I kept those feelings
hidden away. I had a happy, healthy baby-
how dare I feel guilty??
Fast forward 3 years. We found out we were pregnant with our
rainbow baby and my husband and I were over the moon. During that time I had become a birth and
postpartum doula and a trained breastfeeding educator, so I was determined to
make this breastfeeding relationship work!
In the course of my education, I realized that my son more than likely
had a lip tie and probably a tongue tie as well so I was prepared for my new
little one to have the same.
Lola was born on July 23
in the water into daddy’s hands and sure enough, we immediately noticed she had
an upper lip tie. I thought she had a
tongue tie as well, but that wouldn’t be diagnosed for a while longer. She, like her brother, had a nice hard suck
but she nursed often and my milk was in by day 3. She had a very hard time latching on my left
breast and the soreness I so distinctly remembered from my son’s birth was
making an appearance. I was beginning to
dread having to nurse her so I quickly arranged a home visit with an IBCLC for
help. She did an exam and agreed that
she had an upper lip tie but didn’t feel it was hindering nursing and felt
there was no tongue tie present. She
gave me some excellent tips for positioning and latching and left. Things improved slightly but we still had
trouble getting her to latch on my left side, even after chiropractic care. During this time, my husband was a
life-saver. When I was so discouraged
and ready to quit, he gently reminded me of what the lactation consultant had
said and reminded me of why I was doing what I was doing. He was there with a kind word and a hug at
all the right times. There were nights I
was more than ready to throw in the towel and just give her some formula- I
came so close as to actually boiling bottles at 2am and making up some formula
but I just couldn’t bring myself to give it to her so it sat, staring at me, in
my fridge for several days.
After almost two weeks of
struggling, I suspected there was more happening with her oral anatomy than was
diagnosed so I sought out a second opinion with Mellanie Sheppard; I am SO very
glad that I did because I credit her with saving my breastfeeding
relationship. I went to a latch clinic
and she immediately noticed our sweet Lola had an upper lip tie that was most
definitely hindering her latch, a tongue tie, and a recessed chin. She explained in more detail the mechanics of
why her latch wasn’t working and gave us recommendations to follow up with a
pediatric dentist for lip and tongue tie revision and to seek out the care of a
cranio sacral therapist.
We immediately scheduled
an appointment to have her ties released with Dr. Preece and got in with
Frankie Burget, a wonderful cranio sacral therapist. One visit with her and Lola was able to not
only lay flat and relaxed but she could actually turn her head to nurse
comfortably on my left side- something she had never done before. It was a joyous moment to see my little girl
lay open and relaxed as opposed to curled up in a little ball, so tight and
unhappy. Shortly thereafter, we had our
revision done with Dr. Preece. That also
helped tremendously and while I couldn’t feel an immediate difference as I was
hoping, one day about a week or two later I realized I was nursing almost
pain-free. We continued to see Frankie
and she worked her magic and the changes we saw in her were remarkable.
I now have a 12 week old
who nurses beautifully and pain-free. I
no longer dread my baby waking- instead, I look forward to the quiet moments I
can sit and nurse her. I love seeing her
smile as she looks up at me. I feel like
I’ve climbed the world’s highest mountain- I birthed my child naturally and now
I’m feeding her naturally, too. Most importantly,
there is no more mommy guilt and I’ve let go of the past. I finally got the birth I wanted and now I’ve
got the nursing relationship I’ve always dreamed of having.
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