Aidan
James is my fourth baby to nurse, but by far the longest. Each one of my
first three had their own challenges.
With my oldest, my only
daughter, nursing caused me a lot of pain. Not just feeding her, but the
uncomfortableness of it all. My back hurt because of the amount of milk I
produced; I could never find a position that worked for both of us; I was young
and didn't have much support outside of my parents and my husband. When the
option of formula was offered, I jumped at the chance for some ounce of
normalcy in my new life. I quit nursing her at six months.
My second child, and first
boy, was induced two weeks before my official due date. He wasn't quite
ready to make his appearance, but made up for it quickly by putting on eight
ounces of weight by his four day exam. I was exhausted. He ate
every two hours for at least 45 minutes. All day; every day. I felt
like a zombie. I knew if I could just make it to six months, like I did
with my daughter, everything would be alright. The day my son turned six
months, I stopped.
My third child was a little
more unique. He was born with a tongue and lip tie so nursing him was
excruciating. He was my first baby born naturally in a birth center, so
in my experiences, I had more support this time around. We got my son the
help he needed but not without blisters, mastitis, clogged ducts, and tears. I
began to pump, so I could prepare for a week-long trip out of the country, without
my son. A year before my son was born, I had committed to traveling to
India on a mission trip. I left for that trip when he was around 4 months
old. I pumped every day I was gone, and cried every time I dumped it down
the drain. When I returned, I tried to continue to nurse him but I wasn't
producing enough. My milk had dried up by in that short time I was
away. We were both devastated.
I
knew with my fourth I wanted something different, especially since he is most
likely my last (unless God has a funny plan!). I spoke about it with my
husband and let him know that I wanted to go at least a year with Aidan and I
would need his encouragement if I got frustrated and wanted to quit. My
husband agreed but reminded me that even if I didn't make it a year, Aidan
would be okay. All of our other children were nursed and formula fed, and they
all turned out pretty great - intelligent, friendly, athletic and good eaters -
there is no reason Aidan wouldn't either.
Aidan
took to nursing right away. He had a slight tongue tie, but nothing like
his older brother. We adjusted nursing positions and he adapted
easily. I wondered for a while if I was producing enough milk since he is
smaller than his older brothers, but even as we have added solid foods he has
stayed in that similar build...and he can eat his older brothers under the
table sometimes!
Aidan
will have his second birthday on October 6th, we are still "deeting"
- as he likes to call it. The time has become less frequent, typically
three times a day, but it is still one of our favorite times. Because we
do side-lying feeding, he likes to curl up in the fetal position next to me to
“deet”. If I have an itch on my side and go to scratch it, he helps me
out. Sometimes, he thinks it's funny to bring his foot up to my face and
ask me to kiss his foot. He likes to comb my hair with his fingers while he
“deets”...it's comforting to him. Unless he gets a hair anywhere near his
face - then we have to stop everything and find the hair. He makes sure
he can see both sides while he “deets”, because if he can't, he thinks one has
disappeared and he frantically asks "Two? Two?" When he is
finished, we do foot-fives before he climbs into my arms to give me a
love. Then he takes off to find his siblings or climbs on my back to have
me rock him before our bedtime routine.
Breastfeeding
has not been the easiest journey with any of my kids - even with Aidan it was a
fight to get to this point. But all those little things? They make
up for the tears and frustrations; and I would do it all again.
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