Four kids later we figured it out – Jennifer’s Journey

 

It took 4 kids, and 14 years to finally get it right. From the time my oldest was born, I had no support system. Even my grandma, who told stories of near-starvation and great financial despair in the 1950s, had somehow managed to formula feed. No one on either side of the family had breastfed for SEVERAL generations. I figured, it was natural, so it would be easy. I was wrong. From unsupportive Labor and Delivery nurses, home to family that was convinced my first baby was going to starve. We didn't stand a chance. I bought a mediocre pump at Walmart and tried that but my measly one ounce defeated me and my milk never really seemed to come in. I caved in to formula. My son suffered and was sick nearly every week for his first year. There were many fevers and trips to the ER.

When my second son was born, I was much more determined. I didn't want this one to be sickly, and I would do whatever I could to help him. Still lacking support, we failed at attempting breastfeeding once again, but this time my milk came in at least! We rented a hospital grade pump for 10 months. With me back at work, I pumped day and night and kept my little one well fed. I failed at breastfeeding, but at least he was still getting breast milk. 

With son #3, I knew I could do at least as much. I bought a good pump and didn't even try breastfeeding. I decided my large chest size was the problem and there was nothing I could do about it. I pumped for 7 months. 

 Fast forward a few years, and several life changes later. I have a new husband, a new life, and now a daughter. My Mother-in-Law told stories of how my husband nursed until he was 2 1/2! She came to help care for us when Olivia was born. My husband had attended "Daddy Boot Camp" at our delivery hospital, and he was DETERMINED to support me in this breastfeeding journey. It helped A LOT. I'd say it made all the difference, but it still wasn't easy. First we dealt with jaundice, which required extra feedings. That meant breastfeeding as much as baby would allow, and then pumping and bottle feeding even more. This lead to challenge number two: nipple/bottle confusion. Every day seemed to bring new challenges, positioning problems, nipple pain, soreness... It was a solid 3 months of trial and error before it all fell into place and got "easy". From 6 months on, we tried introducing solid foods, but she wanted nothing to do with it and continued to exclusively breastfeed well past 12 months. Now at 18 months we are at about 50/50 and happy to let her continue breastfeeding for now. What I enjoy the most about breastfeeding is the intimacy and bonding that occurs with my child. For me, having fed my babies several ways, nothing compares… period.

I definitely recommend breastfeeding to other moms that are able. The support at home has been and is absolutely essential. Also, we are so fortunate to live at such a time when the internet is available. It is a wealth of information, help, and other's experiences right at our fingertips. 

Latch Challenges and Self-Doubt – Dori’s Story

I had always dreamed I would breastfeed. I can even remember playing pretend with my dolls as a child. I don’t recall my first encounter with nursing but it has always been something that fascinated me. When I found myself single and pregnant at 20 with my oldest, Kayleigh, I knew I would give nursing my best shot. At the time I didn’t know about the benefits or the affects it would have on me physically or emotionally. While I was supported by my mom, I felt very alone.  Boy did I have a lot to learn. Looking back I tried but after two months of nursing and four months of pumping, due to the pain of latching, I quit nursing.

Fast forward ten years! I married my husband Justin and he took to my daughter right away. I knew he’d be a perfect Daddy not only to my daughter but to the son we welcomed in October of 2013. This time I knew what to expect. I knew how hard it would be and how dedicated the whole family needed to be to make this breastfeeding thing work. Once Jack arrived and at just one week was a nursing champ I was sure it was going to be different this time. That’s when the pain became more intense with each feeding. I reached out to a local lactation consultant due to the most excruciating pain I had ever felt. It was happening all over again!!

My son, Jack, was diagnosed with a class IV lip and tongue tie.  I didn’t know what that meant but I knew that it was preventing me from having the breastfeeding relationship I so desperately wanted. After revision at three weeks by a local dentist, we spent weekly appointments at the lactation consultant’s office and chiropractor’s office doing weight checks and receiving adjustments. These were some of the most trying times of my life. I emotionally had been punched in the stomach and beaten to the ground. I just wanted to feel normal, to be happy and to bond with my new baby. I sobbed every day and every day I threatened to quit. I just couldn’t do it anymore but I wanted to continue so badly.

I felt like I was fighting a losing battle every single day; like I had failed my son. My hopes and dreams of breastfeeding successfully were slipping further and further from my reach. I was angry the idea “breastfeeding is easy” as it’s portrayed in the media was a lie! I felt betrayed by everyone for not telling me how hard this really was going to be. I sobbed and pleaded with myself and God to just take the pain away, to give me the peace to quit and be content. I wanted the time to bond with my baby the way nature intended. I wouldn’t nurse pain free for nearly seven months.

If someone were to have told me I would nurse Jack until he was 16 months I would have laughed at them. The day we hit his 1^st birthday I felt more accomplished then I have ever felt. Knowing that my milk nourished my baby exclusively though his first year of life was the most rewarding feeling I have ever felt and I would do ALL of it over again in an instant. My milk supply started to dwindle at 14 months when I discovered I was pregnant, again. (I’m not sure which shocked me more, that we might be done nursing prematurely or that I was pregnant!) I had hoped to continue nursing Jack through this pregnancy but he self-weaned at 16 months and is a happy thriving little boy. He has been sick only two times in his little life and I attest all that to my liquid gold!

For next time, I know what to look for. I am more prepared for the challenges that lie ahead and the realities that nursing is a choice that I have to choose to fight for every single day. I am not one of the lucky few who get to say “nursing is easy” but I am one of the lucky few who get to say “Nursing past one is rewarding”! I attribute my success to my family. My 10 year old often felt “forgotten” at first and always wanted her Mommy but now she knows just how precious of an experience she was able to be a part of and is happy I completed my one year goal. My husband is my rock. Without him I would have quit far too soon, probably week one. He was always there encouraging me, listening to me sob and complain it wasn’t fair yet never once pressured me to quit. He is now supportive of breastfeeding mothers and has become friends with several of them at work, who are all impressed he knows so much. I love my little family and I am so excited to bring baby #3 into this world in July 2015. Here’s to hoping it’s easier but expecting it to be just as hard, yet so worth it in the end! 

No Greater Love – Anna and Leonardo

 

First I'd like to say there is no greater love than the one I share with my son. I respect both non breastfeeding mothers and breastfeeding mothers. I believe it does not make you more of a mother if you breastfeed, or less if you don't. But for a bit, I'd like to describe the bond I share with my son. I am a 23 year old mother to my EBF 8 month old baby boy. There are no words to describe how great our bond is. I love our bond. He feels my warmth, and hears my heartbeat... I know he loves it just as much as I do! The first couple of days/weeks were definitely the hardest. It was a tough battle, but I knew it wasn't impossible. I cried so much, and lost great amounts of sleep. Leonardo had a very bad latch at first, and I was very tempted to drop everything and stop.

 

 

Thankfully my support system was great. I was constantly told it was okay to not breastfeed, but I wanted so much to grow that bond with my baby. Weeks passed, and it got a lot easier. What I would like to emphasize to first time mothers is this; it's okay to not be a BF mother. It doesn't make you any more or any less of a woman or mother. Your baby knows you love him/her regardless and only YOU know what is best for him.       

A Big Accomplishment – Angie and her children

I gave birth to my firstborn, a son, in November 2009.  I had an uneventful pregnancy, and I gave birth to him after almost 18 hours of labor.  Due to some respiratory concerns, he was whisked away to the NICU for observation.  I knew I wanted to breastfeed, and I had taken some classes.  Due to his time in the NICU and my lack of pressuring the nurses, I did not try to nurse him until later that day.  He was initially given formula in the NICU without my knowledge.  My son was also on antibiotics initially due to a high white blood cell count.  The antibiotics quickly led to thrush for him, followed by thrush for me.

My son was not the best nurser. We had issues with breastfeeding the first several months.  I used a nipple shield to nurse him, and I tried to get him to eat for extended periods of time. He was having issues gaining weight, and we began supplementing with formula.  I would nurse him for forty-five minutes, supplement with formula, and then pump.  This was the routine I followed over and over; even in the middle of the night!  My pediatrician told me my breast milk may not be caloric enough. However, I set out to prove him wrong. I was very determined at this point.

By four months, my son was entirely on breast milk and no formula.  I returned to work and pumped during the day, nursing in the evenings and at night.  At six and a half months, I successfully got him to nurse without a nipple shield.  I continued breastfeeding him until over a year, supplementing when my supply couldn't keep up with his demand.  It was one of the biggest accomplishments of my life. 

In September 2011, my daughter was born.  Initially breastfeeding was a struggle at times, but we both worked at it.  I quit my job after working for a month, and I was able to nurse her without supplementing at all.  I partially weaned her after a year and continued nursing a few times a day past two years.  I let her self-wean when she was ready.

In June 2014, my third child, a son, was born.  He is currently 9 months, and I am still nursing him without having to supplement.  I plan on nursing him as long as he wants to. 

I love holding my babies and having quiet time with them while they nurse.  I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to nurse all my babies and to now stay at home with them.

Hereditary Blood Clotting Disorder – Stacey and Sons

My breastfeeding story begins almost 5 years ago, when my oldest was born. He was so tiny. I had a traumatic birth with him, but one thing I knew for sure, is that I wanted to breastfeed. After my C-section, it took the nurses over an hour to bring me my baby. But I got him latched on and nursing, without any help of the nurses, who didn't actually try to help. It also took the nurses over 29 hours before they decided to get me up and out of bed. (This information is super important!) For the next 15 days, I spent every moment with my newborn, I would nurse him, we'd both take a nap, and when I awoke I would change his diaper and start all over again with that routine. During those 2 weeks, I didn't really take care of myself; I was more focused on my baby. I didn't eat very much, keep myself hydrated or get up and moving a whole lot - because no one told me to. When I got to the 15th day, I noticed something was wrong, it felt like I had pulled a muscle in my groin area, but I hadn't done anything to make that area hurt. Something told me to look at my legs and check things out, and I discovered my left leg to be a pinkish/purplish color, while my right leg remained normal. I knew this wasn't right and made an immediate trip to the nearest ER. After being there for a few hours, they discovered that I had a DVT, also known as a deep vein thrombosis or a blood clot.  They discovered I had a hereditary blood clotting disorder which would make future pregnancies higher risk.  That day also ended my nursing journey with my oldest son, because even though an OB/GYN was okay with me nursing and taking a blood thinner, to help dissolve the newly found blood clot, the ER doctors were not familiar with how it would affect the baby and forced me to stop.

Fast forward 3 1/2 years later. I had a healing Family Centered Cesarean section after 22 hours of un-medicated labor. During the last 3 hours my baby's heart beat was closely monitored as it dropped following my contractions. He was born and immediately placed on my chest while in the operating room. He immediately started nursing before surgery was even over. At that moment, I knew we would have a great nursing relationship.  I had to be on the same blood thinners I was on after the discovery of my blood clot, which WERE breastfeeding friendly after all.

 We've had a fairly easy nursing journey, except for a few minor bumps of dealing with uneducated people who are against nursing in public. But as his 18 month nursing anniversary approaches, it's very clear that this bond is something that will never break. We will continue on until we are both ready to move past this special gift that God has given us. I am truly amazed at how awesome a woman's body is and how it continues to nourish a baby as long as necessary. One thing I know for sure is that our journey won't end here. ♡

In God’s own Time – Natasha’s Story

In December of 2012 I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and my husband and I were told that it would take a while for us to get pregnant. We were told that we could get on fertility meds in 6 months.  Well the Lord had other plans for us and one month after that news we found out that we were pregnant with our daughter!  I knew from the beginning that I wanted to breastfeed.  I had done my research and found out that having PCOS could cause me to have breastfeeding issues. The most common potential problem was poor supply.  

 

My daughter was born on August 27, 2013 and breastfed great while we were in the hospital.  After we got home, I had issues with oversupply (which was a blessing) and she had latch issues.  We ended up using a shield to help the process and it worked great.  We used the shield for two and a half months before she was able to latch onto me on her own.  After that hiccup, it was smooth sailing.  I dealt with oversupply the majority of the time I nursed her and decided to donate to Mother's Milk Bank of North Texas.  I was happy that I could share something that meant so much to me.  My daughter is now 18 months old and I am currently 6 months pregnant with a son.  

 

My daughter weaned this month and I have to say it was bittersweet.  I love the bond I built with her through nursing and will cherish those memories forever.  I was also amazed at my body; I was able to nourish my daughter while growing our son!  I look forward to nursing my son and building a special and unique bond with him.  I would be wrong to say that my daughter does not hold a special place in my heart, as I know my son will also have a special place. She is my firstborn and has taught me what my body can do.  I became a mother because of her.  When science said that having a baby was against the odds, God gave us her.  

Ties and Lots of Support – April and son

 

When I was pregnant with my son, I decided I wanted to breastfeed. But I never truly believed I would be successful at it. My biggest goal was a VBAC and I quickly learned that the best way to make that possible was an intervention free birth. My focus turned to everything all natural, so breastfeeding became very important to me. Not to mention, it is more economically friendly for a single mom. The birth went exactly as I planned, and I got everything I wanted. My first experiences with breastfeeding were awkward and I found the sensation incredibly uncomfortable. My nipples cracked and one even bled. But we continued. There were times when I pumped and bottle fed, just get a break from the pain. At my six week follow up with my midwife, I told her about my troubles and mentioned that I experienced some healing when I bottle fed, but it would get bad again when I breastfed. This led her to suspect he may have a tongue tie. Soon after, my doula assessed him and agreed. I wasn’t able to get an appointment for his frenectomy until he was about 2 months old.  Turned out he did have a slight tongue tie, but his lip tie was more severe. After his procedure, things began to improve but there was still pain. He attended several sessions of craniosacral therapy to help loosen up his bones and joints, but my baby was just a high-strung, uptight baby. I remember telling the therapist that I was determined to experience pain-free breastfeeding if it took three years! I returned to work when he was almost 4 months old. This finally gave my body the time it needed to truly heal and eventually one day I was in bed, breastfeeding in a side lying position and I thought to myself “Hey, we’re doing it!” Just like that, I no longer felt like I was “trying to” breastfeed but we were finally getting good at it!

Without a doubt, I credit our success to the support of the amazing women we have been lucky enough to have in our lives. My mother spent the first two weeks post-partum with me. She was there to hold me when I cried because my baby was latched 24 hours a day (or at least it felt like it). She cooked for me and even spoon fed me once while I breastfed! My doula, Kathy O’Brian, was the most incredible support anyone could have! She encouraged me with her special brand of tough love, which is exactly what I needed. She kept me away from pacifiers, nipple shields and supplementing. Lactation consultant, Mellanie Sheppard, her colleagues, Kara Rosales and Naya Weber and all of the women in the For Babies’ Sake breastfeeding group were my sanity! Meeting with them once a week, and being able to talk to others who are on the same journey was imperative to my success. And my close friend, Meridith White was always available to answer any questions I had, and was always encouraging. She gave me the single most important piece of advice, which was “it gets better”. Now, my son is 18 months old and still breastfeeding. I have to say, after age one is when it really gets good. There is no more pumping, no more engorgement, he’s old enough to tell me he wants “nenes”, and it gives me quiet, cuddle time with my busy little curious boy. I plan to continue until he decides he is done.

Change of Circumstances – Britany and her Sons

 

When my oldest was born four and a half years ago, it was assumed I would breastfeed. I started out wonderfully, but due to circumstances, lack of knowledge, determination and support (which I would have had if I voiced my opinion), I slowed breastfeeding at 4 weeks, weaned by 6weeks. I told myself "At least he got those 4-6 weeks", "I did what I could" and "he's being fed, that's all that matters!"  Which every single word is true. When circumstances changed yet again at 8 weeks, I tried to gain my supply back and was not successful. I also was not educated and motivated. But I was sad, and didn't realize how sad until I became pregnant with my second son.

In the 4 years between my children, I learned a great many things, including, breastfeeding facts, myths and other parenting methods. 

By the time my second son was born, I knew I was going to breastfeed. I was going to baby wear, co-sleep, and let baby lead the weaning process; and so much more. I set mini goals for myself. Six weeks, ten weeks (when I returned to work), three months, six months, ten months and twelve months. The ultimate goal would be between twelve to twenty-four months old when he self-weaned. 

When he was born, it went perfect. He latched on moments after birth and nursed for almost two hours. Then he slept for four and one-half hours and refused to wake up! Once he woke up, he nursed again for almost two hours. Ever since then, he is a breastfeeding champ. Now I am having a hard time ever imagining not breastfeeding him. 

At the time of these pictures he was five months old. I am ecstatic to say at almost eight months, we are still breastfeeding. It's not like I dreamed and hoped, but so much more than I feared in a worst case scenario. 

Circumstances have again made it difficult to make my milk the only milk he gets. I am very blessed to say he also receives the milk of two wonderful ladies who have helped keep him on donor milk since he was three and one-half months old. This is more than I dreamed of. I plan to savor every moment I have. It's an amazing bond that I cannot explain. 

This is a favorite quote of mine from probably one of the best resources for breastfeeding I have stumbled across. 

"I thought I'd become a mother the day my baby was born. It isn't so. Mothers join the ranks slowly, gradually, one caress, one diaper, one feeding at a time. And then one day we look down and there they are: the hands of a mother, gently with enormous strength doing the most important work on earth." - The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.

Hang in There – Courtney’s Journey

I was 9 years old when I had a conversation with my best friend about wanting to breastfeed whenever I had a baby. I still to this day have no idea where that thought came from because at that time I had never seen anyone breastfeed their babies. Eight years ago my first job out of nursing school was on a Labor and Delivery unit. As part of my orientation process I had to shadow the lactation nurse and take a 2 day class on breastfeeding. Learning about all the benefits of breastfeeding really excited me. It was then that my passion for breastfeeding began. I knew once I had kids that they would be breastfed. I currently teach a breastfeeding class at one of the local hospitals. I truly enjoy this teaching this class and helping new moms. 

In April 2014 I gave birth to a perfect baby boy we named Cade. Aside from getting to meet my baby, I was most excited to finally have the opportunity to breastfeed. That is where my trouble started. I had so much trouble getting him to latch. It was really painful but I kept telling myself just give it 2 weeks like everyone says and it will get better. I had 4 different lactation nurses help me while I was still in the hospital. When I got home I had one of my co-workers who is a lactation consultant come to my house to help me and I even went to a different co-workers house so she could help me. I was so frustrated. After all I had helped countless women breastfeed and I teach the class, why am I not getting this. Finally after 3 weeks of a still painful latch we went and saw a different lactation consultant. She thought I should see a pediatric dentist because the baby could possibly have a tongue or lip tie. We made an appointment and sure enough Cade had and upper lip tie. We did the laser procedure to release the lip tie and within a few days the latch was much better. 

Then cluster feeding started. I didn't feel prepared for that. Cade would literally nurse 4-5 hours straight. That lasted about 2 weeks. That was by far the most challenging part of nursing. So many nights I wanted to quit. I would cry and cry and I felt like such a failure. I could just hear my friend’s voice in my head saying "I told you so". This is not how this is supposed to go. How was I going to go back to teaching the breastfeeding class I loved so much when I had failed? I kept at it and day by day it got better and easier. 

I had to go back to work when Cade was just 3 months old. It was challenging to learn and organize pumping. It didn't help I had a new job as an OB home health nurse which means I was essentially driving all day. I have to pump while driving. I don't know what I'm going to say if I get pulled over ;). 

I can't put into words the feeling I get when Cade looks up at me with those big brown eyes, or when he rests his hand on my chest, or reaches up to touch my face. Nursing my baby is by far the best decision I have made in my life. I know I am truly giving my baby the best and I absolutely have no regrets. All the sleepless nights, all the crying, and all the frustrating days are completely worth it. I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. I truly enjoy our nursing sessions even more now especially since I'm working during the day.  

I love that I'm also beating the odds. I saw no one breast feeding and the images I did see, were not of African American women. I wasn't encouraged much by my family either. They weren't discouraging but they would ask things like "when is he getting a bottle?" or "are you STILL breastfeeding"? ( he was 6 weeks old at the time). Mom still asks periodically "how long do you plan on doing that for?". Well I'm proud to say we are almost 10 months and still going strong. My best advice to new nursing moms is to hang in there. If you need help don't feel ashamed. Take advice from people who have done it and been successful,  not those who wish they could have or chose not to. Don't give up. Don't give in to the naysayers. Don't let them win. There will be long days and sleepless nights but it is all worth it and it all goes by way too fast. 

I'm not sure when I'll be done nursing but I know my days are numbered. It will be bitter sweet because I love nursing and I know I will miss it but being done will bring so much freedom. So until that day comes I cherish every second I get to latch my baby on and look into those cute little eyes. My wish is that every mom and baby could experience the joy and closeness nursing brings. It is truly what our bodies were designed to do and nursing is by far my biggest accomplishment. 

Don’t Give Up! – Angela’s Boys

My breastfeeding journey began on May 20, 2010. My first born son, Brooks, was overwhelmingly perfect & filled my heart with the most immense love I've ever felt. When I was pregnant I thought about breastfeeding, but had the mind set of, 'I'll just see how it goes' and that was the end of it. Then he was born. I was encouraged by nurses to latch him as soon as I was able to. I would love to say it was a euphoric experience, but it wasn't. It HURT! My legs tensed up and my toes curled. Brooks had jaundice and "had" to have formula. Something overcame me that I can't explain. It made me angry to see my husband feed him and I had a total melt down. Feeding him is MY job (by breast only) and it's supposed to be something that no one else could do. It's was an intense feeling of protectiveness that took over my whole body! Luckily, the formula didn't last long. It took about 6 weeks before I was able to feed Brooks without pain. I am SO GLAD I didn't give up! We had a nursing relationship until June 9, 2011. 

 

Anderson was a surprise gender baby. My husband yelled, "IT'S A BOY!!!"; and it echoed! Again, the nurses encouraged nursing right away and as I looked down on this beautiful baby boy and watched in awe as my heart grew with even more love than I could have ever imagined, he latched. And it was AWESOME! I was immediately overcome with joy, peace, calm and so much love. Our nursing journey began on May 5, 2014 and is still going strong. He won't take a bottle or sippy cup, just Mama. I love looking in his bright blue eyes & knowing that to him, I am everything right now. One day he'll grow up like his brother and be less dependent on me. For now, I'm all he needs and it makes my heart so happy!