Warmth, Food and Security – Kelly’s Breastfeeding Journey

I always knew I wanted to breastfeed and was also very confident I would. I never thought of it as an option; it was just something I was going to do. I remember registering at a store for our first daughter, and my mother told me I should put formula on my registry just in case. I felt offended that she wasn't as confident in breastfeeding as I was. I also knew that it wasn't recommended to have back-up formula. In those early, sleepless days, you are still trying to learn your baby, and it could be tempting to give in and supplement, which, when done too early, can harm your milk supply.

Growing up, I was never really exposed to breastfeeding, but I do remember nursing my dolls sometimes. I had one friend who breastfed in my early twenties, and I was obsessed with how beautiful it was. I was so proud of my friend! While I was pregnant, all our family knew I planned to breastfeed but didn't have much input. I had a smooth pregnancy and delivery in a hospital with our first daughter. I began nursing her right away, and she did great! I remember getting conflicting advice from the all nurses and lactation consultant. I was a little confused but determined, and I trusted my instincts. When she cried, my instincts told me to check her diaper and nurse her. Anytime she cried, she nursed, and it fixed everything. We perfected our latch within a few days. Nipple cream saved my life. Use it after every feeding! 

It didn't take too long for nursing to feel as natural to me as eating with a spoon. I thought of my breast as an eating utensil that just happened to be attached to my body.
None of our family was very familiar with breastfeeding. I remember getting told to hurry up or stop for a minute because someone was here to meet the baby. I was pretty angry and didn't feel much support. I remember trying to nurse before we left the house or before getting in the car to drive. I wanted to make sure she was full and content before going anywhere. I was nervous to nurse in public, especially without a cover or someone to stick up for me if someone had something negative to say.

My daughter was around three months old when I was introduced to a moms’ group on Facebook. The group had many breastfeeding advocates all supporting each other on their breastfeeding journey. It really is a journey with highs, lows, unexpected surprises, and great rewards. Through this group, I gained knowledge and support. I learned about growth spurts, legal rights to nurse in public, and many more breastfeeding-related issues. I even began nursing in public. For me, it's not really about my legal right to nurse in public but more about my child's right to eat when she is hungry. This group helped me to meet some of my lifelong soul sisters. I pray that all women can find this type of strong support system with like-minded mothers.

My breastfeeding journey was going great until we got pregnant again. My daughter was only nine months old. I had to start supplementing with my pumped stash and raw goats milk as my supply slowed down. When I was around twenty weeks pregnant, I pretty much had no milk. For about four weeks, my daughter didn't nurse much. Then, at twenty-four weeks, my colostrum came in, and she went back to nursing like a newborn. I can't remember exactly when it started, but I had a pretty rough time with nursing aversion. When she nursed, it felt so irritating - like my body was telling me it didn't want her to nurse. We made it through the hard times, though.

Then our second daughter was born. We had a water birth at home this time. I was in labor and had to nurse my first daughter to sleep for a nap. As soon as she fell asleep, my water broke. We think her nursing had something to do with it. About an hour later, our second daughter entered the world. She has nursed great from the start. Then four days in our new baby was crying and wouldn't stop. It was gas. My midwife recommended I cut dairy from my diet right away. She cried every night for a couple hours for a few more days. It took time for the dairy to get out of my system but after that we had zero colic as long as I didn't eat dairy.   I had no idea my diet could cause things like reflux, eczema or gas. Some baby’s tummies just can't handle it. 

The first six weeks was a rough adjustment period. We all had to learn our new roles and settle into our new life. Tandem nursing was a challenge at first. I had a hard time getting comfortable nursing them both at the same time. My oldest wanted to nurse every time the baby did, and there were some tears, but we did our best to distract her with something else.

I have been very blessed with a great milk supply. I donate almost everything I pump to my sweet milk son. He was adopted by a very loving couple. This sweet boy has been through some rough challenges, and the benefits of breastmilk are giving him an even better quality of life. Providing milk to three tiny humans all at the same time is challenging but incredibly rewarding. I have recently had the greatest opportunity to wet nurse for a friend in need. I always wondered what it would be like to nurse a baby that wasn't my own. I was excited to see if it would be different somehow. At first the baby knew something was different. She mouthed my nipple like she could taste and feel the difference. Then she latched on and nursed like normal.

I'm now four months into tandem nursing and still have some nursing aversion with our oldest. I just push through it, but sometimes I have to cut her feeding short. My youngest is still exclusively breastfed and growing every day. I have come so far from just planning to breastfeed. I can now say I have done something I always wanted to do. I set my mind to it and consider this a great accomplishment. My original goal was to make it to six months. Then the goal became one year, and now, my goal is to let my girls self-wean when they are ready. I'm so happy to share our journey. Each mother has their own unique situation, with their own strengths and weaknesses. We have to grow and adapt to different stages and circumstances. We are all doing our best with what life gives us. I'm just so happy to be on this journey.

I love this quote, but I'm not sure of the author.
"A newborn baby has only three demands. They are warmth in the arms of its mother, food from her breasts, and security in the knowledge of her presence. Breastfeeding satisfies all three."

P.S. Get fitted for nursing bras, invest in good nursing wear, and get a good pump. Invest in your nursing journey. It's worth it when you compare the cost of formula feeding.