Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Despite the Tears and Frustration…I’d Do it Again – Stephanie’s Story






Aidan James is my fourth baby to nurse, but by far the longest.  Each one of my first three had their own challenges.  

With my oldest, my only daughter, nursing caused me a lot of pain.  Not just feeding her, but the uncomfortableness of it all.  My back hurt because of the amount of milk I produced; I could never find a position that worked for both of us; I was young and didn't have much support outside of my parents and my husband. When the option of formula was offered, I jumped at the chance for some ounce of normalcy in my new life.  I quit nursing her at six months.

My second child, and first boy, was induced two weeks before my official due date.  He wasn't quite ready to make his appearance, but made up for it quickly by putting on eight ounces of weight by his four day exam.  I was exhausted.  He ate every two hours for at least 45 minutes.  All day; every day.  I felt like a zombie.  I knew if I could just make it to six months, like I did with my daughter, everything would be alright.  The day my son turned six months, I stopped.

My third child was a little more unique.  He was born with a tongue and lip tie so nursing him was excruciating.  He was my first baby born naturally in a birth center, so in my experiences, I had more support this time around.  We got my son the help he needed but not without blisters, mastitis, clogged ducts, and tears. I began to pump, so I could prepare for a week-long trip out of the country, without my son.  A year before my son was born, I had committed to traveling to India on a mission trip.  I left for that trip when he was around 4 months old.  I pumped every day I was gone, and cried every time I dumped it down the drain.  When I returned, I tried to continue to nurse him but I wasn't producing enough.  My milk had dried up by in that short time I was away.  We were both devastated.

I knew with my fourth I wanted something different, especially since he is most likely my last (unless God has a funny plan!).  I spoke about it with my husband and let him know that I wanted to go at least a year with Aidan and I would need his encouragement if I got frustrated and wanted to quit.  My husband agreed but reminded me that even if I didn't make it a year, Aidan would be okay. All of our other children were nursed and formula fed, and they all turned out pretty great - intelligent, friendly, athletic and good eaters - there is no reason Aidan wouldn't either.


Aidan took to nursing right away.  He had a slight tongue tie, but nothing like his older brother.  We adjusted nursing positions and he adapted easily.  I wondered for a while if I was producing enough milk since he is smaller than his older brothers, but even as we have added solid foods he has stayed in that similar build...and he can eat his older brothers under the table sometimes!

Aidan will have his second birthday on October 6th, we are still "deeting" - as he likes to call it.  The time has become less frequent, typically three times a day, but it is still one of our favorite times.  Because we do side-lying feeding, he likes to curl up in the fetal position next to me to “deet”.  If I have an itch on my side and go to scratch it, he helps me out.  Sometimes, he thinks it's funny to bring his foot up to my face and ask me to kiss his foot. He likes to comb my hair with his fingers while he “deets”...it's comforting to him.  Unless he gets a hair anywhere near his face - then we have to stop everything and find the hair.  He makes sure he can see both sides while he “deets”, because if he can't, he thinks one has disappeared and he frantically asks "Two? Two?"  When he is finished, we do foot-fives before he climbs into my arms to give me a love.  Then he takes off to find his siblings or climbs on my back to have me rock him before our bedtime routine.  

Breastfeeding has not been the easiest journey with any of my kids - even with Aidan it was a fight to get to this point.  But all those little things?  They make up for the tears and frustrations; and I would do it all again. 

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